What you tolerate you worry about… When you want to say no…say no. Its ok to be nice and wanting to be there for other people but setting proper boundaries is all about sticking up for yourself and giving yourself the ability to not worry about things that you don’t want in your life. Boundaries are a set limit or space you hold with yourself and someone else. Boundaries can consist of emotional boundaries, physical and mental boundaries. You create boundaries in the work place, relationships, family relationships, friendships etc. These boundaries are helpful for self-care and self-love. When you set proper boundaries, it gives you an opportunity to show your assertiveness. We teach people how to treat us and when someone knows that they will get a yes from us every time it limits are ability to have moments to say no. Granted we are taught the golden rule to treat others the way we want to be treated however if some people (preferably narcissist) will take advantage of the kindness of your heart.
Ever heard the saying “Don’t take my kindness for weakness” I am almost certain that saying was created by someone who was all about being kind and setting proper boundaries. Now setting boundaries isn’t about saying no all the time, its about catering to your emotions and what you want and deserve as well. If you can’t say no to what you don’t want, you will never have the time or energy for the things you do want. To be honest its not fair to you or the other person when you don’t want to do something for them, and you truly want to say no but you say yes. This causes unintended resentment towards them because you didn’t want to do it in the first place, now causing a negative vibe that the person may not be aware of. Below is a worksheet with information on how to set boundaries and a written exercise for you to determine how you plan to set those boundaries. http://www.liveandworkonpurpose.com/files/Boundaries.pdf
Here is also a link on setting proper boundaries with your children. I believe children learning about boundaries at an early age helps them know who they are and what they want. Also keeps parents from going into being that too friendly parent just to get a point across. https://www.edutopia.org/sites/default/files/resources/stw-glenview-healthy-boundaries.pdf –