I know ya’ll are reading this and wondering, “wtf is this?” Well let me bring ya up to speed. Over the past few days I’ve had atleast three conversations about monogamy and open relationships. Every one has their opinions on this, some stronger than others, I have noticed. As a media personality I should be unbiased as my influence is large. But I’m going to rebel. lol Years ago, if asked, it would have been monogamy hands down, but honestly today I can say I am totally for the open relationship. Here’s why…I have 3 concrete answers as to why.
I was once married. I was very young and was enamored with the idea of the marriage and happy life. I’m not saying it isn’t doable but it didn’t work- besides the abuse, I felt he was bored with me. I offered on many occasions to allow an open marriage. He declined but complained about me. Everything about me. I do believe he sought affection or pleasure else where though he will never admit it. Had the marriage been open and not so rigid it may have worked. I think he didn’t take me up on my offer because he couldn’t handle it if I had even an emotional affair with anyone.
Here you go again sitting here reading reason two like, ” wtf is this?” lol Okay, hear or read me out rather. When you think of appreciation you think of gratitude right? Thankfulness is more than “thanks for loving me” in this context its more of “thanks for allowing me to be human, being my rock and I love what we have because our bond is 100” They say trust is the core of any successful relationship. A friendship is the core of any great lasting relationship.True or False? So think about this, if you are friends with your mate and you have that trust established where you can set guidelines and communication why cant this open relationship thing happen? Ladies, most men wont say this but he wants to be able to look at a chick or even get a dance from a chick without feeling like he is on the run from the army. It is so unreal to think that a man would never admire any other woman. That’s absolute bull. If he says that he’s lying. Who wants to be with a guy where you are constantly questioning whether he’s telling the truth? No one. If you’ve met a chick or is that chick who wants to question her dude send her my way, I need verification that women like that exist in 2015!
Hey you’ve made it to reason number three! Longevity….. So this was my last reason because it rounds out the top two listed. Everyone wants a lasting relationship.Everyone. So all in all in order to achieve that you must maintain that spark by keeping it spontaneous,building/keeping trust, and maintaining friendship/appreciation. Without these its bound to FAIL. Now if taking an “L”in any relationship as far as time and energy is concerned isn’t a problem for you then disregard my blog. I am in no way saying that monogamy isn’t possible or saying that everyone should have an open relationship but I want you to think of the mere benefits of a successful open relationship. Its some one out there reading this like saying how grandma and granddad have been married for 60+ years. Well check it, but I bet my last rusty pennies that granddad was a rolling stone or admired women during those 60+ years! Times changed, its taboo for a woman to put up with a cheating man or vice versa but think about it…if there were open relationships “cheating” would be eliminated. In their generation they rode through thick and thin. Divorce was almost unheard of. It’s a reported over 57% divorce rate in America today – I’m apart of that percentage. Monogamy is beautiful. Love is beautiful. I just believe that open relationships are beautiful as well. That level of understanding, trust, friendship, appreciation. People are so afraid to explore the taboo. When maybe it could potentially be the formula that could work, but hasn’t been given a try. So don’t knock it until you try it! I’m just the messenger luvies….
“Do we believe loving someone means owning them?Do we believe that all expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of ‘you better act right or else’ keep one honest and true?Do we believe that we can have meaningful relationships with people who have not defined nor lived by the intgrity of his or her higher self? What of unconditional love? Or does love look like, feel like, and operate like enslavement? Do we believe that the more control we put on someone the SAFER we are? What of TRUST and LOVE? ” , Jada Pinkett Smith, actress (14 years married to actor/comedian Will Smith)