I received this email a few weeks ago, and I wanted to put it out there because this listener is really broken and she is trying to cope with forgiving her dad for committing suicide. Please read the story below and feel free to comment & share your thoughts on suicide as well.
I want to know how you & your listeners feel about suicide. My dad recently took his own life and I’m so mad at him! I can’t even think about any good thoughts concerning my dad. My mom passed away two years ago from cancer. Thankfully, she was not sick for a long time. By the time we found out she had breast cancer, she was already in her last stages and she passed away about a little over a month after finding out.
Now my mom & dad were no longer together when she passed away. They separated when I was still in high school (about 15 years ago). But my mom never stopped loving my dad. My dad moved on & met somebody else and had two more kids with his new girlfriend. He started to treat my mom like shit since me & my other siblings were grown. He always said how he didn’t have to deal with her anymore and they had nothing to talk about since we were older and out of her house.
My dad took it the hardest when my mom died! He had so many regrets for treating her the way he did. Him and his new girlfriend/baby momma ended up breaking up because she accused him of still being in love with my mom (a dead woman at that point). My dad lost his city job, where he had been employed with them for over 20 years, then he lost his house and was living on the streets. My siblings & I all begged out father to come stay with one of us, but for whatever reason his pride was in the way. He stopped taking our calls & I didn’t see my dad for a good 5 months, then next thing you know a detective called my brother to identify the body of what may have been our father.
He shot himself in the head with a shot gun, so we were only able to identify him by his tattoos since his body was also unrecognizable due to him losing over 50 pounds since the last time any of us saw him. When we found out it was him, I couldn’t even cry! I had so mach anger and rage built up inside me because how could he do that to us??? Not only did he turn his back on my back, but he also said fuck all of his kids, lost contact with us, then killed himself in that manner and we had to be the ones to identify his body! I will never get that image out of my head of his entire head being blown off.
I’m so mad at my dad. I honestly think he was the most selfish man in this entire world. I have never experienced a hate in my heart for anybody like this. Then I don’t even talk about it with my siblings, or anybody at all for that matter because to be for real, it’s so embarrassing! I just wanted to know how your listeners feel about suicide? Everybody always has so much concern for the “victim” but what about all the people they leave behind? The people they leave that big ass burden on?
Suicide is selfish as hell! Thanks for listening,