Ear Kandy Radio

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You’re pregnant, but the alleged father has made it clear that he does not want the baby… should you expect for him to still be there?

Okay ya’ll , lets get some discussion going! Let’s say you get pregnant and you want to keep the baby. You go and tell the alleged father the great news.. BUT, he tells you up front he does not want a baby, can not afford one, and he will absolutely NOT be in the baby’s life. Is it wrong for the woman to still expect him to take care of the baby once it’s here?

I have seen so much backlash of everyone saying “if he didn’t want kids,
then he needs to use protection”. One thing I must say is it takes two! Let me go into further detail to elaborate. Everyone’s situation is not always the same. A woman could be openly engaging in intercourse with no form of protection and end up pregnant. What would happen if she had the same mindset that she did not want the baby? The same question would populate – if you did not want kids, why are you not using any contraception to protect yourself? Secondly, why are we not protecting ourselves from men that some of the time, we barely know? There are so many common pregnancies in women by men that we have just met! Barely know! We need to stop placing the 100% blame on these men and learn to protect ourselves. No condom? Ladies have one with you IF necessary. Otherwise, no glove? No love.

Another scenario that is common is the alleged father may speak abortion into existence. This is not always action that has to be taken. However! this is where it can get sticky for the simple fact, what if you want to keep your baby? It’s already obvious he doesn’t want the baby here. I personally feel if choose to keep your child and that man gave forewarning he was not going to be there, don’t force one to be there. It’s not about allowing men to be sorry excuses, but where do we own up on our side? It is a choice to have an abortion just how it is to protect yourself during intercourse. Same situation would apply for a woman that chose to abort her baby BUT the father wanted his seed. That woman would receive the “praise” more than likely because her choice was the “logical” thing to do for her situation, meanwhile? No one is taking into consideration of how that man felt. I feel on many topics associated with a father and a mother, we tend to place so much blame on a father and it makes it worse because technically in society, the father has no rights to his kids until money pays for it. Now , don’t take it as harsh! I am speaking on behalf of the REAL fathers. Not you part time dads 😉

In conclusion, I am not trying to bash anyone’s situation. They all differ! All I am saying is us as women ( I even tell myself this because I am not perfect), NEVER depend on a man to come to the rescue, protect yourself. If you slip,and its with a man who can’t own up then that choice is going to fall on you on what you want to do. Will you abort it? Or will you keep it? I will say for sure, keeping it is not the end of the world. You just might have to prepare to be a single parent. I feel if you are prepared for your baby, forget him! Keep your bundle of joy. End of the day it is him missing his blessing due to his absence in his child’s life.

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